...snow drops emerging between the snowy days...
Over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about and dealing with a lot of issues relating to death....one of our farming neighbours died very peacefully at home after being poorly for some months, another of our friends and neighbour has just found out she has just a few weeks to live......and on different level, but still very, very sad, a good friend of mine is facing the fact that her faithful old dog is dying ....and two of our flock of sheep here in the hills have died in the last few days too, (one had a broken leg, the other we're not sure about she became very poorly and weak over a couple of days and didn't respond to any of the treatment we gave her).......Holly and I have also been reflecting a lot about the family members we have cared for at the end of their lives, over the duration of our relationship there seems to have been many, sometimes too many.....Of course alongside this sadness and loss, we are approaching the Spring Equinox, and despite the deep snow and icy temperatures, the evidence of spring, new birth and growth is all around. Lambing and calving preperation is underway here, I've also planted some seeds for my annual veg/herbs, though not as many as usual for this time of year...many are on hold for the warmer weather to appear. In addition i've got more more energy too, not just physical energy with the longer days, but a thinking and planning buzz too....and as I am typing another friend has just gone into labour with her second child....
....reflecting on the the recent weeks has really demonstrated how the rhythm of the cycles and of life, birth and death are so intertwined...and for me this is such a balancing feeling of reassurance and hope.......our decision to make one of the functions of our young forest garden a pet burial ground is a good example of this too....
We need to talk and plan.....
Anyone who knows me well knows that one of my life passion's is around quality of life and quality of death for all beings...plants animals.... I've worked for many years as a palliative care nurse, supporting people and those they love and care about, facing the end of their life. One key thing I've learnt from the 100's, possibly 1000's of patients I've cared for, along with family members and friends I've also looked after is that talking openly and honestly about death and dying can really help everyone involved. Asking questions, accepting help, making plans about how and where you want to be cared for, doing things you've always wanted to do, can all contribute towards dispelling some of of the myths, fear, shame and depersonalisation people who are dying often experience.........In addition, along with good support from family, friends and community after someone has died, the peaceful death of a person who has felt in control, informed, heard and understood of the end of their life can make a huge difference to the way those close to that person experience grief and cope with life after the death
My Design...
....I have called one of my diploma designs 'Designing Death', its only in the beginning design stages at present, but my initial ideas are about the provision of a resource that would help people to think and talk about death and dying and support planning related to dying and grief too. The resource will be from a non medical perspective and use permaculture principles and ethics as a guide, for example exploring ways that Earth Care can be a priority when we face death as well as care for people. I strongly believe that permaculture can make a massive difference to how face death and dying, and I guess at this point i'm talking about the UK in particular.
So, after a review of where I am with all my design work to date, and in relation to other stuff around my health and wellbeing I have been looking at, I have decided that I will also have a redesign of my own 'end of life' plan. I initially wrote the plan which included how I would like to be cared for as well as what I would like to happen after I die, about 20 years ago now when I was seriously unwell and thought life was going to be a much shorter one than its turning out to be...going through this process again with much more life experience and knowledge should be really interesting and quite exciting!
....for more information and support relating to some of the things i've being writing about on here please see my books and links pages elsewhere on my website (I should really learn how to put in a direct link here!), or feel free to comment or ask me for more info or thoughts too, either on here, via the contact link or via Face Book or email where you can find me at craftychick1@fastmail.co.uk
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